_turks+soda

Well we often wonder why Americans are so obese and hopeless.

Sad truth be told - most Americans are fat moo-cows (aka Heffers) waiting for that massive coronary mandated by the original Harry Potter (read: Jesus) to take you up to that MickyD's in Heaven.

Go to work, down 2L of Diet Coke b/c hey! its better for you than Coke!

Feel good about slamming a Double Whopper with Cheese down that grease and aspartame-soaked gullet of yours because you burned 2.35 calories spinning around on your office chair, and wash it all back when you get home with a 6-pack of Coors Light because it has less calories than any decent libation that can rightfully consider itself beer.

As it turns out, the American government is making your decision to not die at 45 increasingly economically unfeasible by massively subsidizing the shitty foods that kill you, and make you pay though your pocket for the things that don't kill you quite so fast. And as a side note, when was the last time the Federal Minimum Wage was raised, like 10 years ago?!